There is nothing easy about this process

And it is very true. But so worth it in the end and that is what you have to focus on.

I am having a harder time with the wait this time. With Maya, I had no idea was it was to be a mom, and frankly was scared to death. I'm nervous this time for other reasons, but it is so different. I now know what it means to be a mom and somehow it opens your heart. when I look at Seth's picture sometimes I just cry because I want him here so badly. I feel a connection to him that I did not understand when we went through this the first time.

I cried a little in the store today trying to pick out the perfect outfit for a care package I am putting together to send over as soon as we get the next piece of paperwork signed. Is he a 2 or a 3? Does he take a bigger shirt and smaller pants like Maya, or all the same size? How much does he weigh now? how big are his feet? These are all questions that a mom should know about her child, but yet I don't. I will soon, but not yet. He probably does not even know that he has a family waiting for him yet. He has no idea how much he is loved yet, or how we talk about him every day in every thing that we do.

Each stage of the process brings out a new emotion. Nope, nothing is easy about this process. You just keep dreaming of the day you will meet. With Maya, there was a long adjustment time after the adoption, but there was no doubt from day one that she was meant to be our daughter. The same goes with Seth.

He was born on my grandfather's birthday. Three days after he was born, we were announcing to our parents that we had decided to go back to China to adopt another child. Little did we know that our son had just been born. Yep, it is quite the process.