LOA!!!!

Today we got our LOA (letter of seeking confirmation) that says we are definitely going ahead with the adoption of Xiao Yu (Seth). Things are happening at a dizzying pace! Did I not say the other day that things just happen in my life and I have to learn to go with it? Well, here is another example. We are leaving September 11 or 12 for China! A month or two before we had planned. We are a bit nervous about receiving the last of the paperwork before we leave (which is an important document we need on adoption day) but are assured by our agency that all will be handled and they will ensure we have it on our day. I guess that I just go with that! I have spent the last 8 hours learning about everything that has to be done before we leave. More paperwork - we need to apply for our Chinese visa and book our flights. I looked on Air Canada and the flights are less than I thought, so that was a nice surprise. We have 2 friends who work on the Toronto/ Beijing flights and are hoping to have a least one of them on our flight either way. We'll be booking things tomorrow. I can't believe how fast it is happening!

I am having guilt pangs about leaving Maya here. I know it is the easy solution and the safest one for her. It is not an easy trip, and if Seth does not adjust, won't be much fun for her. However, if things go smooth, it would have been a wonderful experience for her. This is perhaps the most difficult decision that we have had to make so far, and I am still so conflicted. However my gut is telling me that, for us, we would be better off leaving her here and so I guess that is what I have to do, as difficult as that may be. I'm not a risk taker, and with the Swine flu issue still a scary one, especially when it comes to China quarantine, I just can't make myself take the chance. Sometimes I wish I were a stronger person and could take more risks. I hope she adjusts with this decision. I do know plenty of other families that have made this same choice and it did not seem to effect them long term. I guess my whole reason for the guilt is Maya's extreme love of China. That is one thing that I think we did right in trying to instill a sense of pride and love of her homeland, for she does with all her heart and has wanted to go to China since the time that she could talk. *sigh*